Trimoot's Weblog

Triathetes, running, life

PUN0GRAPHY

Just some humor: 

  • I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

 

  • When chemists die, they barium.

 

  • Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

 

  • A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

 

  • I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid.  He says he can stop any time.

 

  • How does Moses make his tea?  Hebrews it.

 

  • I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  Then it dawned on me.

 

  • This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

 

  • I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.  I can’t put it down.

 

  • I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words ..

 

  • They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

 

  • This dyslexic man walks into a bra ..

 

  • I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

 

  • A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

 

  • When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

 

  • What does a clock do when it’s hungry?  It goes back four seconds..

 

  • I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

 

  • Broken pencils are pointless.

 

  • What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.

 

  • England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

 

  • I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

 

  • I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

 

  • All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen.

   Police say they have nothing to go on.

 

  • I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

 

  • Velcro – what a rip off!

 

  • Cartoonist found dead in home.  Details are sketchy.

 

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January 27, 2014 Posted by | triathlete | Leave a comment